Wet Dream

Guys...you know those nights when you wake up in a cold sweat and vaguely remember doing something well, only to discover it wasn't real.....welcome to Monday's wet dream. After pounding balls and stroking pitches for 11 runs, the Oxymorons still came up short measured against 15 big ones. Game 1 was a thriller with the morons making a late push for a climactic win.

Pipi (Mark O D), wore his swanky red pantyhose in hopes to intimidate the opposition from the mound. His plan was working until this busty senorita in a pink tank put Pipi on his backside with a screaming come backer straight for his melon. Pipi continued to pitch his circus tent by continuing the play from all-fours only to put a runner in his hose and eat dirt with his nose. When a girl knocks you on the ground Pipi....stay down.

Orgasmically the team rebounded after a nice diving play at short by none other than Rye Bear. The King (aka blue suede shoes Austin Lee) continued his groove with solid play in the field and at the plate. Trace the Ace unlaced the ball off the face of the aluminum case as she advanced a base to erase a space and speed up the race to the chase and replace the nasty case of loser's waste from last year's pace. That took 15 minutes.....Still in the end, our schwartz was shorter than there's.

Thankfully the team photographer Teardrop (aka Kim Carsten) was present to take pictures of all of the moron offspring. Baby's were everywhere, to watch there Dad's and Mom's play. Teardrop told me "straight up" that she could not make the pregame meeting at Escalantes and blew me off when I asked. Oh Happy Birthday Teardrop!

As the wetness approached and the field was soaked, we contemplated our courage and worth and hit the field for game 2. Lighting was crashing and thunder was thrashing as the umps said...Play Ball! Since Krisco had no problems waving a metal bat in the air, I thought we could all wrap ourselves in tin foil and borrow James' metal cleats the next time a storm passes through. Come on Blue.....Call the stinking game. The beer is cold and we have 8 taps instead of 2 now!

The Moron's hit the bar like a heard of cattle, except for Pipi and the other Dad's who had their babys with them. "Fill'er up" I heard as Krisco (Kristie Choate) had a thumb and 3 fingers from each hand hooked to 6 milk cartons. That woman is amazing. Sug D sat in the corner of his half-full Heram while the Purple Tiger fed him french fries, and told jokes about 7 virgins. Sug D thought he was the man but discovered his vienna sausage as the bar announced "Free Weenies" at 9 o clock. Girls' love bargains.

And our night, as all wet dreams end, you're foggy on the details, but one thing remains.....you're soaked.

Pre-game party at Escalantes, next Monday 5/24 after work. Only 1 game at 7:3o for the make-up from last week.

Adios

T-roy