Hit me baby one more time!

Welcome back blog dogs! It's been almost a year and oops we're doing it again. The Britney's are back and K-fed's on the KFC double down train out of town. No more O-fer seasons. No more umps screwing us out of a "W." No more half empty milk cartons.....This season we're running the tables.

There's a new smell in the air, a rebirth under a new leader. Last season's drunken disaster of a manager was fired and arrested on illegal gambling charges, as authorities allege he bet against the Oxymorons to lose. I mean come on guys, that was a no brainer, and I have more money in my pocket as a result.

This season, skipper Mark O'Donnell breathes new life into the Oxymorons. Last season, the 6 ft 2 in 280 lb workhorse played all positions, including pitcher, batting an impressive .588. This year, his off-season starvation diet has paid off. Weighing in at a waify 160 pounds, he'll be able to better maneuver around the bases, get drunk faster, but have difficulties swinging a girls bat at the plate.

Yesterday marked the Morons first practice run, and it proved to be a good one. With unseasonably warm temperatures, and inadequate beer reserves, the Morons came together and displayed watchable softball.

E

Busta Jason Russell. That is the "E" from the eye doctor's office. Go there and get some new glasses. It may help you catch a ball in the outfield.

Talk about an Oxymoron. We have an Aggie on the team and his name is Austin. WTF? What should we nickname this kid with a solid glove and lightening fast bat? Austin Powers has been eliminated. Please forward your suggestions.

And then there's the Cajun Queen. The Purple Tiger. Our latest ladle of gumbo washed up from the crude oil shores of Louisiana. Poor debutante had her glove on the wrong hand, but still managed to catch a ball anyway. Bruised her ankle walking to the dugout in heels, but showed promise funneling buckets of bud light lime during the Cinco Di Mayo happy hour (coaches meeting) at the Velvet Melvin. Welcome to the team Crawfish!

Dustin, the Abercrombie model from last year hooked to Susie's arm (now team GM and water girl) has turned himself into an absolute abuser of the softball. I quit counting at 12 home runs, which consequently cleared the outfield lights. The power we needed is here. The skipper's off season acquisition should cash in dividends and multiple RBI's.

The rest of the seasoned veterans honed in their defensive skills next to the water cooler in the shade. No new injuries to report, except for the Purple Tiger (see above), Besty (goes without saying hurts herself fielding a grounder) and a near miss of several balls across Susie's head.

This season should be a good one, full of new nicknames and pregame Happy Hours at Escalantes. Catch the Morons on their new Monday time slot. Our fans were the heart and soul behind our losing season, and we need you again this year!

Adios...TD