If you ordered an Oxymoron Softball Shirt please come get it!! Now you will all have plenty of time to wash & iron them before the first game!
Grassy Ass,
Kim
"Shirt Designer of the Year"
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Practice - July 9th
Last practice went well (despite the injuries)! We are going to have our final practice on July 9th at 4:30, same location as the last two practices. This time, rather than just batting and fielding separately, we are going to try and simulate a game so we can have people in the positions we think they will play. Please make every effort to attend this final practice. Our games start the week of July 14th.
I have requested information on the batting order, time frames to receive our season schedule, and more detailed rules on substitution, etc. Hopefully we will have some of this information by the July 9th practice!
Have a great 4th of July! Please advise if you can attend the July 9th practice.
Thanks!
Coach Schuetz
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Injuries Haunt Morons Before Season Begins
So most of you have heard, we lost a moron yesterday and several others are likely headed for the DL as a result of our second practice. This list has grown considerably since our 1st practice and SportsMonkey requires we relay to the press a weekly injury report so teams can prepare for their opponent. So here goes.......
Marc "The Dancing Bear" McCoy - out indefinitely for ripped pinky nail further complicated by a chipped bone on his way to see an ortho surgeon, doctors not sure if he'll make it. Ace pitcher and all-star first baseman not able to drink usual copious amounts of beer at bar during team meeting.....team concerned.
Paula "Shoeless Joe" Sharon - unable to locate shoes for practice, attempts to hit in socks, spins out of control with a dirt face plant during her first official At Bat. Wipes off dust and digs back in....team trainer said she is fine....took up collection to get her shoes.
Rene "Nail Smail" Noble - Broken manicured nail....unlike the dancing bear...wiped dirt on it, a splash of beer, shotgunned the rest, crushed can on head and went back out on the field.....What's the deal McCoy? Oh Rene, your husband is good!
Jason "Like a Boss" Russell - Hurt his ego taking BP. Team tries to lift spirits at bar by introducing him to 2 hot Oxymoron cheerleaders Susan and Jennifer.....girls try to get him drunk on red-bull and vodka with a pepperoni pizza chaser.....ego still an issue during carpool this morning.
Ryan Hinze, Betsy Trimble, Randy Noble, and T-roy Davis - suffered 2nd degree burns to the face as a result of the dirt being hotter than the surface of the sun. Ongoing talks about changing practice times and/or SPF 100. Rubbing cold longneck on forehead not the answer.
Outfielders Randy Volkin, Kristie Choate, Ed Seymour - frustrated with assistance coach Travis Hill's inability to hit fly balls during drills. In talks with other teams negotiating a trade for seasoned fungo hitter. Travis Hill willing to play only for another contender....Hill's price went up since he has a cool bat and he's the only moron with a home run at this point.
Skipper Melissa Schuetz - injures back pulling cooler full of Shiner Bock, and lifting her kids during practice. Coach will hit whirlpool and buy cans instead of bottles next time.
As I said, the list is lengthy and growing weekly. Speaking of WEAKLY, will the real Marc o D please stand up!! The Morons first round draft pick misses 2nd practice in a row. Doctors report he experienced an erection for more than four hours and sought medical attention.
Alison Toveg, thanks for bringing it at the plate, next time bring beer.
That's all for now...until next practice...T-roy
Marc "The Dancing Bear" McCoy - out indefinitely for ripped pinky nail further complicated by a chipped bone on his way to see an ortho surgeon, doctors not sure if he'll make it. Ace pitcher and all-star first baseman not able to drink usual copious amounts of beer at bar during team meeting.....team concerned.
Paula "Shoeless Joe" Sharon - unable to locate shoes for practice, attempts to hit in socks, spins out of control with a dirt face plant during her first official At Bat. Wipes off dust and digs back in....team trainer said she is fine....took up collection to get her shoes.
Rene "Nail Smail" Noble - Broken manicured nail....unlike the dancing bear...wiped dirt on it, a splash of beer, shotgunned the rest, crushed can on head and went back out on the field.....What's the deal McCoy? Oh Rene, your husband is good!
Jason "Like a Boss" Russell - Hurt his ego taking BP. Team tries to lift spirits at bar by introducing him to 2 hot Oxymoron cheerleaders Susan and Jennifer.....girls try to get him drunk on red-bull and vodka with a pepperoni pizza chaser.....ego still an issue during carpool this morning.
Ryan Hinze, Betsy Trimble, Randy Noble, and T-roy Davis - suffered 2nd degree burns to the face as a result of the dirt being hotter than the surface of the sun. Ongoing talks about changing practice times and/or SPF 100. Rubbing cold longneck on forehead not the answer.
Outfielders Randy Volkin, Kristie Choate, Ed Seymour - frustrated with assistance coach Travis Hill's inability to hit fly balls during drills. In talks with other teams negotiating a trade for seasoned fungo hitter. Travis Hill willing to play only for another contender....Hill's price went up since he has a cool bat and he's the only moron with a home run at this point.
Skipper Melissa Schuetz - injures back pulling cooler full of Shiner Bock, and lifting her kids during practice. Coach will hit whirlpool and buy cans instead of bottles next time.
As I said, the list is lengthy and growing weekly. Speaking of WEAKLY, will the real Marc o D please stand up!! The Morons first round draft pick misses 2nd practice in a row. Doctors report he experienced an erection for more than four hours and sought medical attention.
Alison Toveg, thanks for bringing it at the plate, next time bring beer.
That's all for now...until next practice...T-roy
Friday, June 19, 2009
Practice/Happy Hour
Mandatory meeting at Velvet Melvin immediately following practice next Wednesday (June 24). Topics include tailgating in parking lot, unwanted beer tickets and no-shows from each week buy the first round the following Tuesday.
T-roy
T-roy
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Season Starts: Tuesday, July 14
If you have not paid Melissa your entry fee ($40) please do so ASAP
If you have not paid ($18.31)/ordered your shirt please see Kim ASAP
Tuesday Coed Softball League Policies
GAMES
During the regular season games are to be played within time allotted
During the regular season games are to be played within time allotted
(warm up time is included).
UMPS
An umpire will be provided by Clubmonkey Sports to supervise the game. It will be the umpire’s responsibility to coordinate and run the games, which include the following tasks:
Starting games on time.
Calling outs, making final calls on any disputed balls or strikes.
Settling all disputes or disputed calls.
It is understood that umps will assist in the tracking of the score (i.e. announcing it between innings) and assist in any discrepancies with regards to the coed line-up ratios. However, it is the responsibility of both teams to maintain their respective line-ups and scores each inning.
FORFEITS
If your team forfeits a game during the season, the following rules apply:
First Offense: Loss of game and warning issued.
Second Offense: Loss of game and staff reserves the right to remove team from playoffs.
Third Offense: Removal from the league.
If you know in advance that your team is going to forfeit a game, we encourage you to call our office so as to help us schedule your opponent a game.
Teams have until ten minutes past the designated start time to field a full squad (minimum numbers of players required to play according to the rules). Refer to rules regarding guy/girl batting ratio. Anything less then the minimum must be approved by the CMS staff and opposing team.
STANDINGS
The updated standings will be posted weekly, displaying each teams rank within its skill level. Rank is based on winning percentage.
PLAYOFFS
All eligible teams make the playoffs (teams that have not abused any policies are eligible). Playoff rosters must be complete by the third week of regular play. (Players will only be added after the third week for the purposes of a substitution due to an injury or other extreme circumstances as deemed acceptable by CMS staff.)
In certain situations teams at or near the bottom of the standings may not advance to the playoffs. Check with CMS league coordinator to see if this applies to your league.
Playoffs are single elimination.
Seeding
Teams are seeded according to winning percentage and strength of schedule.
Teams may be dropped from their regular season level based on the above criteria. Teams may be moved to a higher division during the playoffs only if permission is granted.
Skill levels may be divided into separate divisions based upon size of level.
Teams may play more than one game per day.
Any questions regarding rules, policies, or eligibility must be addressed before the start of the game:
CMS reserves the right to schedule playoff games on days other than your regularly scheduled league night.
WAIVERS
In order to participate in the league, each participant must sign the team waiver. Waivers are provided and must be completed and handed in no later than the first night of play. Players not present the first week of play will still be required to sign a waiver with our staff before participating.
PLAYER ELIGIBILITY
A formal protest may be filed before a game if an opposing player’s eligibility is in question. The player in question will be required to provide his/her player information (name, address, phone #, signature) in writing to a CMS staff member prior to the start of the game. This qualifies as an official protest. The game will then be played in its entirety as scheduled. Teams will be notified of all rulings on the identified eligibility discrepancy by the following business day – decisions will not be made on site. If the protest is proven to be legitimate, it will result in the forfeiture of the game in question. Games subsequent to the protested game may be rescheduled. The above procedure will also apply for any other “logged” protests. All rulings by CMS staff are considered final. Waivers and Rosters will be used as acceptable player-team identification during playoffs, all participants must present ID’s during the playoff tournament in the event of a roster check. All roster check requests must be made before the first pitch.
SPORTSMANSHIP
The idea of CMS is to have fun. We hope that all participants keep that in mind when becoming involved. Although the games may become intense, you still can be competitive while maintaining good sportsmanship. With this said, any behavior deemed unacceptable by staff may result in suspension and/or ejection from a game or the league.
STAFF
To coordinate and run the league, our refs and/or staff will be available at all times to help the league run as smoothly as possible. If you have questions regarding schedules, policies, rule interpretations, directions to the bar, etc. please ask.
LEAGUE CANCELLATION/RAINOUT
Leagues may be cancelled due to existing weather conditions, dangerous or unplayable field conditions, facility constraints, etc. CMS staff makes every effort to play all scheduled games, thus we will not cancel games until absolutely necessary. Therefore, if you are calling concerning a decision on a cancellation, remember we will not have an answer until close to the start of the league. If the league is cancelled, CMS staff will change the voicemail immediately. CMS will then call/e-mail all of the captains. If a league is cancelled on site, CMS staff will attempt to contact those teams still scheduled to play the remainder of the league day/night. Depending on the time of cancellation, some teams will have to be notified on site. If we do cancel, follow next week’s schedule (ex. If April 13 is cancelled teams should follow the April 20 schedule for their next game). The games that are cancelled will be made up at the end of the season if time allows. In extreme circumstances, CMS reserves the right to run a shortened season without a refund of schedule matches on days other than our regularly scheduled league day/night.
PRIZES
The top teams in each division will receive a prize of great emotional, spiritual, and most importantly, social value.
These policies are designed to make the league run as smoothly and safely as possible, and provide continuity for its participants. Each player in the league is responsible for this information: please advise your team of these rules and thanks for playing.
UMPS
An umpire will be provided by Clubmonkey Sports to supervise the game. It will be the umpire’s responsibility to coordinate and run the games, which include the following tasks:
Starting games on time.
Calling outs, making final calls on any disputed balls or strikes.
Settling all disputes or disputed calls.
It is understood that umps will assist in the tracking of the score (i.e. announcing it between innings) and assist in any discrepancies with regards to the coed line-up ratios. However, it is the responsibility of both teams to maintain their respective line-ups and scores each inning.
FORFEITS
If your team forfeits a game during the season, the following rules apply:
First Offense: Loss of game and warning issued.
Second Offense: Loss of game and staff reserves the right to remove team from playoffs.
Third Offense: Removal from the league.
If you know in advance that your team is going to forfeit a game, we encourage you to call our office so as to help us schedule your opponent a game.
Teams have until ten minutes past the designated start time to field a full squad (minimum numbers of players required to play according to the rules). Refer to rules regarding guy/girl batting ratio. Anything less then the minimum must be approved by the CMS staff and opposing team.
STANDINGS
The updated standings will be posted weekly, displaying each teams rank within its skill level. Rank is based on winning percentage.
PLAYOFFS
All eligible teams make the playoffs (teams that have not abused any policies are eligible). Playoff rosters must be complete by the third week of regular play. (Players will only be added after the third week for the purposes of a substitution due to an injury or other extreme circumstances as deemed acceptable by CMS staff.)
In certain situations teams at or near the bottom of the standings may not advance to the playoffs. Check with CMS league coordinator to see if this applies to your league.
Playoffs are single elimination.
Seeding
Teams are seeded according to winning percentage and strength of schedule.
Teams may be dropped from their regular season level based on the above criteria. Teams may be moved to a higher division during the playoffs only if permission is granted.
Skill levels may be divided into separate divisions based upon size of level.
Teams may play more than one game per day.
Any questions regarding rules, policies, or eligibility must be addressed before the start of the game:
CMS reserves the right to schedule playoff games on days other than your regularly scheduled league night.
WAIVERS
In order to participate in the league, each participant must sign the team waiver. Waivers are provided and must be completed and handed in no later than the first night of play. Players not present the first week of play will still be required to sign a waiver with our staff before participating.
PLAYER ELIGIBILITY
A formal protest may be filed before a game if an opposing player’s eligibility is in question. The player in question will be required to provide his/her player information (name, address, phone #, signature) in writing to a CMS staff member prior to the start of the game. This qualifies as an official protest. The game will then be played in its entirety as scheduled. Teams will be notified of all rulings on the identified eligibility discrepancy by the following business day – decisions will not be made on site. If the protest is proven to be legitimate, it will result in the forfeiture of the game in question. Games subsequent to the protested game may be rescheduled. The above procedure will also apply for any other “logged” protests. All rulings by CMS staff are considered final. Waivers and Rosters will be used as acceptable player-team identification during playoffs, all participants must present ID’s during the playoff tournament in the event of a roster check. All roster check requests must be made before the first pitch.
SPORTSMANSHIP
The idea of CMS is to have fun. We hope that all participants keep that in mind when becoming involved. Although the games may become intense, you still can be competitive while maintaining good sportsmanship. With this said, any behavior deemed unacceptable by staff may result in suspension and/or ejection from a game or the league.
STAFF
To coordinate and run the league, our refs and/or staff will be available at all times to help the league run as smoothly as possible. If you have questions regarding schedules, policies, rule interpretations, directions to the bar, etc. please ask.
LEAGUE CANCELLATION/RAINOUT
Leagues may be cancelled due to existing weather conditions, dangerous or unplayable field conditions, facility constraints, etc. CMS staff makes every effort to play all scheduled games, thus we will not cancel games until absolutely necessary. Therefore, if you are calling concerning a decision on a cancellation, remember we will not have an answer until close to the start of the league. If the league is cancelled, CMS staff will change the voicemail immediately. CMS will then call/e-mail all of the captains. If a league is cancelled on site, CMS staff will attempt to contact those teams still scheduled to play the remainder of the league day/night. Depending on the time of cancellation, some teams will have to be notified on site. If we do cancel, follow next week’s schedule (ex. If April 13 is cancelled teams should follow the April 20 schedule for their next game). The games that are cancelled will be made up at the end of the season if time allows. In extreme circumstances, CMS reserves the right to run a shortened season without a refund of schedule matches on days other than our regularly scheduled league day/night.
PRIZES
The top teams in each division will receive a prize of great emotional, spiritual, and most importantly, social value.
These policies are designed to make the league run as smoothly and safely as possible, and provide continuity for its participants. Each player in the league is responsible for this information: please advise your team of these rules and thanks for playing.
Tuesday Coed Softball Rules
Clubmonkey Sports will follow NSA rules at Houston Sportsplex with the following exceptions:
1. 10 players (at least 4 females) in the field at all time. (THERE MUST BE ATLEAST 1 FEMALE IN THE OUTFIELD). CMS rules will allow a team to play with a minimum of 8 players (at least 2 females). If only 2 women are present at game time, they must bat twice in the first 10 batters. If a team has less than the minimum required number of players it is up to the opponent and/or umpire or CMS staff as to what is allowable.
2. Inning run limit rule: There will be a 6 run limit per inning through innings 1-4. (Exception: unlimited runs may be scored if one of the innings 1-4 is declared the final inning of the game.) Unlimited runs may be scored in innings 5,6,and 7 always. Game mercy rule: 10 runs up after five complete innings.
3. Home Runs allowed per game are as follows: Rec – 1 +1up, Intermediate – 3 +1up (negotiable)
4. All teams must make an effort to retrieve balls hit for home runs during their game.
5. Should a team not have enough players to start a game, the clock will start and that team has until 45 minutes left on the game clock to field the minimum number of players.
6. All batters will start with a 1 ball / 1 strike count.
The following are changes for the Winter ’02 season to adhere to NSA rules:
1.A legal pitch must have an arc of (6’- 10’) from the release by the pitcher. Any pitch that is not deemed legal will be an automatic ball.
2. Men’s & women’s size balls will be used. A female has the option to which ball she wants to hit.
3.In the event of a tie at the end of a regulation game, “one-pitch” extra innings will be used to determine a winner.
1. 10 players (at least 4 females) in the field at all time. (THERE MUST BE ATLEAST 1 FEMALE IN THE OUTFIELD). CMS rules will allow a team to play with a minimum of 8 players (at least 2 females). If only 2 women are present at game time, they must bat twice in the first 10 batters. If a team has less than the minimum required number of players it is up to the opponent and/or umpire or CMS staff as to what is allowable.
2. Inning run limit rule: There will be a 6 run limit per inning through innings 1-4. (Exception: unlimited runs may be scored if one of the innings 1-4 is declared the final inning of the game.) Unlimited runs may be scored in innings 5,6,and 7 always. Game mercy rule: 10 runs up after five complete innings.
3. Home Runs allowed per game are as follows: Rec – 1 +1up, Intermediate – 3 +1up (negotiable)
4. All teams must make an effort to retrieve balls hit for home runs during their game.
5. Should a team not have enough players to start a game, the clock will start and that team has until 45 minutes left on the game clock to field the minimum number of players.
6. All batters will start with a 1 ball / 1 strike count.
The following are changes for the Winter ’02 season to adhere to NSA rules:
1.A legal pitch must have an arc of (6’- 10’) from the release by the pitcher. Any pitch that is not deemed legal will be an automatic ball.
2. Men’s & women’s size balls will be used. A female has the option to which ball she wants to hit.
3.In the event of a tie at the end of a regulation game, “one-pitch” extra innings will be used to determine a winner.
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