Muy Interesante at Escalantes

If you're hankering for a headache Wednesday morning, try Escalantes off Beechnut pre-game. Meyerland's Mexicatessan specializes in drinkability and thirsty morons. Most teams arrive at the Ghettoplex an hour or so before the game to change, stretch, throw and warm-up. Morons aren't like most teams. Aside from the fact we are 0-8, our preparation stems around 106 Negra Modelos (a smooth 12 for O'Donnell - see last week's post on blood alcohol level), 14 baskets of chips, countless quesadillas and a bar bill that satisfies staff payroll for a week. Good plan. Brought to you by - yours truly. You may say, "That sounds like good times!" And you would be right. But by the end of the night, pinned up in the softball saloon on a plastic chair surrounded by milk jugs.....the truth comes out. Boy I wish it didn't.


Stories surface after a night of cervezas as you have all now witnessed through Avocado's clever tale of a frightened young man who fell victim to an unwelcomed trespasser's hairy leg in the sauna. That is the truth. Scout's Honor. Nevertheless, now I own the steam room, take appointments (men only- hairy legs not required) and welcome and encourage the forward pass and lead the team in receptions. DOWN BOY! Avocado...thanks for the fabrication. My wife is going to have some questions tonight after reading this post. Which brings me to the Blue Iguana. Apparently, my intention was to trump Kim's story of having her jugs tugged by some girl named Pat in the women's restroom at the Blue Iguana Bar. Pre-Blue Iguana, Huggy's Pool party was the topic of conversation (see details below) and how speedos and string bikini's would somehow look sweet on a bunch of out of shape, washed up, beer guzzlers. And yes Kim my beer gut is better than yours. Pre-Pool party, the Boss was swinging from the ceiling fan or jumping from his Amoire to the bed (hat on or off?) at home injuring his back and neck and had to get a shot of Novocaine. See what Escalantes does to you, now?


Aside from the funny stories and forgettable memories, the games were close. Both teams played exceptionally well in the field and at the plate. Aside from O'Donnell losing the 1st game for us all on his own, and claiming his wing was too tired to play game 2, I'm proud of everybody else. We had the lead 6-5 in the 5th inning in Game 1 before it slipped away from us. Game 2 we put a 5 spot up on the scoreboard after the 1st inning. And of course the fans were great as usual - love the new chants. How about those cage climbers? Commence the fence like Hunter Pence makes some sense or is it dense? GO MORONS!

P.S. Huggie is inviting all of the players and fans to his house Saturday, August 29th around noon for a team pool party. Details to follow. Mark it on your calendars.......it is mandatory!!