Under the Big Top

Despite the gloomy looks and hung heads on Wednesday morning, last night was a circus. I was waiting for the elephants to walk in and boy did they (for the other team) in the female form smacking line drive after line drive to the warning track. That's right sports fans, unbelievably the Oxymorons suffered through another night of excessive pummeling by the opposing team. However, that did not change the fact that last night was seriously funny. Absolutely, undeniably, ridiculous!

Have you ever seen a guy eat fence? Ask Mark how it tastes. After straining his baggets running to 1st, he decided to run teeth first into the 3rd base fenceline. This is the guy who's ankle is attached to his leg with bailing wire and duct tape. Are you kidding? Mark.....feel free to play "beer league softball" with the rest of us. Hustle is not part of the league. You'll get the idea on the mound next week.

I didn't realize Jason Russell was so religious. Apparently the Gospel according to the BOSS requires him to kneel to the god-lights while catching fly balls. His convictions were so inspiring, he witnessed to the Avocado, who failed to kneel and therefore dropped his balls in front of all his friends and family.

Randy Noble and Shebin found gopher holes. Seemless Seymour found O fer holes. Allen sang Earnest Tubb's #1 "Walking the Floor over You." And James thought wearing weapons on the bottom of his shoes would eliminate the stupid second baseman who wouldn't get out of the Boss's way. Then reverse kick her boyfriend pitcher in the jugular. Thanks James your heart is in the right place. BTW..... jogging pants got to be hot in July, brother.

My first base coach Tree Hill went missing during game 1. Awoken the Volken (and btw nice game Randy) saw him in the parking lot with one of the elephants, milk carton in hand, and Kim's camera.

Nail Smail confirmed Krisco got her keg stand in just as I predicted. That explains her mumbling and rambling, and why the concession stand had no beer for the 10:30 game. A wise man once said, warm beer is better than no beer.

Trace the Ace, Sniper, LAli and Melissa. I got nothing. Try being funnier next time.

And he who laughs at others must laugh at himself - that's the rule! So, coach T-roy, how about putting a game plan together that actually works! You are 0-4 and seriously positioned on the hotseat. Why don't you put the beer down for two seconds and pay attention to the number of outs. Forget the ace bandage on the hamstring.....hopefully the circus donkey will return to punch your ass again for good. Quit watching your towering, long fly balls to shortstop - It ain't getting outta here!

See I told you.....we laughed till our sides ached. We lossed, but we enjoy losing. So what the hell? Stay tuned for week 3. Fans bring the noise and we'll bring the tent ;)

P.S. Trix....be there or beware!