Morons Enjoy Losing

If I were a random spectator just meandering around the Houston Ghettoplex, milk jug in hand towards field 4, my ears and eyes would have imagined a story much different from the scoreboard. (Let's pretend the scoreboard actually worked). A sold out baker's dozen worth of screaming fans, sporting unreasonably tight white and loli-pop red team jerseys led chants, "Let's go Morons..clap...clap...clap!" Within the confines of the dugout, the reserves stood on their feet, cheering for their teammates out in the field. The players on the diamond, focused, determined, and looking sharp (except for one dork with duct tape on his shoes) in their freshly scissored, used to be sleeved uniforms, executed flawlessly. If my eyes were to witness this collaboration of events, there is no doubt in my mind, this was a look of a champion. A Total Dominator. But this was not the case. The Oxymorons fell short in their first double header of the season. Did they hang their heads Tuesday night? No. Why? Morons enjoy losing. What? That's right! Despite the scoreboard, the team showed they could compete and have fun in the process (and the surprise discovery of an air conditioned bar and grill strategically positioned at the field's epicenter made us feel all warm and fuzzy inside too! Or was that the beer that was warm and fuzzy?)

Ok, enough of this "winning doesn't matter" and "we have heart" and "this is all for fun" blog. Time to rag on our team....cough...I mean point out the highlights from last night's action.

Hack Saw Huggins. Playboy, Lover, Womanizer. Man has skills. Couldn't keep the ladies off of him last night. Pictures will be posted soon........you'll see what I mean. Tree Hill, Don't call me Rybear, and Randy"If you give me a nickname I'll whoop your ass" Noble, super plays in the field, nice work with the bat. First homer of the year for Oxymorons hit by Mr. Mark O Really don't need to Practice. To the ladies on the team, Krisco, LAli, Skipper, Nail Smail, Trace the Ace, and Knee Nocker.... Big hits in key situations. Thanks for taking the walks when we needed them. Nice plays in the field. The outfielders..Boss, Awoken the Volken, and Who's on Second, way to fill in the deep gaps out there. Nice plays all around. Sorry I didn't mention the 1st team had all she-males. We'll know to back up next time. To our ace pitcher, Trump on the Bump. Way to go the distance. Excellent job on the hill. James thank God there's a fence behind me Hoang, hang in there brother. We got a spot for you next week more to your liking. Shoeless Joe, nice work on the books, thanks for the help in the dugout and keeping us all in line. As for T-roy, remind yourself before next game, drinking beer is not warming up. If you try and go to that gear you used to have when you were 20, you may get donkey punched in the hamstring again. To our team mom and professional photographer Trix, I'm not sure 200 pictures is enough. You may want to bring 2 cameras next time or possibly shoot some video. Appreciate the support and I never knew a dress went so well with a catcher's mask especially in a full squat position in the center of the bar full of poeple. To Susan, Darlene and the fans in the stands, thanks for keeping your teammates hydrated with beer. We owe you one. Need to think of a nickname for you.

Next week should be interesting. I'm smelling a "W."

Until then......Adios

T-roy