After our 3rd and final practice, I am delighted to report that no severe injuries were sustained on Eastside field yesterday. 14 Morons participated in a simulated game showing true poise and promise, remaining hopeful to begin the season with a "W." This blogger sat back and took it all in, attempting to devise a starting lineup and batting order. With so much talent on display at one time, the task proved nearly impossible. All I could do was scratch a few notes about the players and their strengths and weaknesses. A coaches meeting is scheduled sometime today to finalize our game plan for Tuesday. Below are the notes:
Ryan "Don't call me Rybear" Hinze - nice range at SS, injury plagued, torn rotator cuff, torn meniscus in knee, possible Matzui fissures. On road to recovery, nice addition if he stays healthy. Hopefully not since he trumped my songs last night with some Def Leppard crap.
Paula "Found my Shoes" Sharon - Raw power. Lightning bat speed. Looks like our clean-up spot is locked. Hope the fence is at least 400+ to center, and our aluminum bats can hold up to the punishment she puts on the ball.
Shebin "Who's on Second" Chandran - Needs a compass or GPS. Confused as to the location of 2nd base. Nice speed on the bases when he sees them. Base coaches will come in handy. Possible middle of the line up, as he needs time to apply sunblock and lock in coordinates.
Richard "Hacksaw Jim " Huggins - What an animal! 4 screws in hip, bum knee, no problem. When he wasn't sitting next to the cooler, he was sitting next to the cooler. Could be our pinch runner or base stealing specialist. He told me, "Awl T-roy, I can't be running awl over that there outfield like cat. I's just sittin in this shade over yonder, keepin cool brother!" Anybody speak "East Texas?" May have to get ol Coop out dair? Huggy, thanks for buckets last night, buddy!
Kristie "Krisco" Choate - Her bat's as hot as peanut oil. 6 for 6 last night, looking at the # 2 hole. Throwing suspect. Tends to throw the "rainbow" or "skyball." By far the best coors light drinker on team, known as the funnel'er. Perfect since tie breakers are settled with a beer bong.
Andres "Avocado" Sobrino Castro Diego Luna Sanchez Gonzales - Tries hard. Fields ball with everything but his glove. Brought poweraid. Bought pizza. Good candidate for base coach. Bought him the Rosetta Stone software.
Ali "LA li " Toveg - SWF, Enjoys long walks on the beach, listening to Barry Manillo, and trying new things. Successful professional looking for tall, dark and handsome businessmen who enjoys horseback riding, sailing, and tennis. Must be a good listener. HUH?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Melissa "Our Skipper" Schuetz - Loves sliding into first base. Not sure of head first or feet first so she tends to go hip first with a stop, drop and roll technique. Hope we have a play at the plate so she can gets a chance to barrel over the catcher. Could be our bruiser.
Ed "Seamless" Seymour - Perfect attendance award. Made all 3 practices. 2 nice plays in the field. Hot bat puts him in the front of the line-up. Weakness......beer drinking. Poor attendance at Velvet Melvin. Concerned about long lags between games and what he is going to do, while his team is at concession stands watching Krisco do a keg-stand.
Janet "The Sniper" - Comebacker put me within an inch of my life, and the possibility of ever having kids. Glad I am not pitching to her anymore. Did not sleep well, horrible nightmares of her beating me to a pulp with softballs.
Jason "Still the Boss" Russell - Best rapper on team. Could put him in charge of the CHEER squad. His favorite cheer was...... Avocado is a friend of mine, He can hit it anytime. Put a bat in his hand, He can do it, yes He can. Hit, na na na na Rip, na na na na Hit it hard, Hit it fast, Knock that pitcher on his ass...na na na na, na na na na..... Way to go Boss. You gave us "Street Cred."
Travis, JD, Susan - Thanks again for making the Velvet Melvin and shutting it down. Maybe time for an intervention. Will have to call the league to see if they serve red bull and vodka. If not, a bootleg operation meeting will be called.
Thanks to all for showing off your talents. Time for the real deal on Tuesday. Fans, come out and show your support by buying your favorite player a beer. An autograph booth will be set up 15 minutes previous to game time, to shake hands and take pictures with your favorite player.
Adios...T-roy
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2 comments:
Umm.. T-Roy.. just for the record.. I was there from 6-6:30.. not exactly closing the place down.. but I appreciate the confidence that I could get it done. :)
Well Susan... rumor has it that P. Sharon wasn't actually hitting them out of the park either... but I know we all have confidence that you will be a true supporter at all the games!!
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